Tom Holt at Tangled Web UK

Page Updated: 07/02/2007

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Tom Holt - Page 2

British Pbk Original - Orbit (2004)

For Two Nights Only
Two hilarious comic fantasies in one armour-plated, broadsword-wielding volume.
Overtime
One moment Guy is flying a bullet-riddled plane over Caen in 1943, the next he’s somewhere in the Middle Ages in the company of one John de Nesle. Unsurprisingly, Guy’s first thought is to get off home sharpish. But then he seen John’s sister Isoud, and finds himself agreeing to help John in his knightly quest to find Richard Coeur de Lion ...
GrailBlazers
Fifteen hundred years have passed and the Holy Grail is still missing. The knights have all dumped the Quest for the easier job of pizza delivery, so someone must be found to take up the search and thwart the sinister plans of the lost kingdom of Atlantis’ financial services industry. That someone is Boamund of Northgales (or Snotty to his friends).

Paperback - Orbit (2004)

First British Edition Orbit (2003)

The Portable Door
Starting a new job is always traumatic: meeting your colleagues, forgetting their names, your boss’s name and, for an encore, your own name. This is then traditionally followed - round about lunchtime - by breaking the photocopier and hiding in the toilet whilst weeping hysterically.
But what if your new employer was not the simple humdrum paper-shuffling outfit you supposed it to be? What if it was an elaborate front for the Dark Forces of Oddness? A place in which the photocopier fought back and the staplers were possessed by vengeful spirits?
For Paul Carpenter - new employee of J.W. Wells & Co. - it is fast becoming clear that his new company is hiding a vast and quite possibly sinister conspiracy. Not that Paul cares much, he’s become obsessed with wooing the enigmatic Sophie, a bizarre angular woman with all the sexual appeal of a hole-punch.
'uniquely twisted… cracking gags' Rob Grant, The Guardian

First British Edition Orbit (2002)

Paperback - Orbit (2003)

Little People
‘I was eight years old when I saw my first elf’
…And for unlikely hero Michael it wasn’t his last. Michael’s unfortunately (but accurately) named girlfriend Cruella, doesn’t approve of his obsession with the little people, but the problem is that they won’t leave him alone. And who can blame them when it is his own stepfather who is responsible for causing them so much misery. Oh yes. Daddy George knows that elves can do so much more than the gardening.

Notice To Employees
Elf and safety in the workplace
1. Employees will work two shifts per day, each shift consisting of thirteen hours. Pay will be according to the minimum wage guidelines published by H.M. Government.
2. Employees with green skin and little pointy ears are not eligible for the minimum wage.
3. All employees must possess green skin and little pointy ears. Employees with missing little pointy ears will be issued them.
4. There is to be no running, talking, dancing, harp playing , lute strumming or casting of fey magic spells during the witching hour or at any other time.
5. Employees may not sit on the mushrooms.
6. There are no mushrooms.
7. No riding the unicorn. It is not a toy.
8. . Any talk of unions, workers’ rights or employment tribunals will be punished severely.
9. Your contract is for life.
10. Get used to it.

Paperback - Orbit (2002)

First British Edition Orbit (2002)

Falling Sideways
From the moment Homo Sapiens descended from the trees, possibly onto their heads, humanity has striven towards civilisation. Fire. The Wheel. Running Away from furry things with more teeth than one might reasonably expect - all are testament to man’s ultimate supremacy.
It is a noble story, a triumph of intelligence over adversity and so, of course, complete and utter fiction.
For one man has discovered the hideous truth: that humanity’s ascent has been ruthlessly guided by a small gang of devious frogs.
Frogs that rule the Universe.
The man’s name is David Perkins and his theory is not, on the whole, widely admired, particularly not by the frogs themselves who had, frankly, invested a great deal of time and effort in keeping the whole thing quiet.
Happily for humanity, however, very little of the above is actually true either.
Unhappily, things are a lot, lot worse.

British Pbk Original - Orbit (2002)

The Divine Comedies
Two hilarious comic fantasies in one volume! Or so God says.
Here Comes the Sun
The sun rises late, dirty and so badly in need of a service it’s a wonder it gets up at all. The moon’s going to be scraped soon and a new one commissioned - but they’ve been saying that for years...
All is not well with the universe . . . and it’s because mortals are running the show.
It’s time for a Higher Power to take charge . . .
Odds And Gods
It’s a god’s life at the Sunnyvoyde Residential home for retiree deities. Everlasting life can be a real drag when all you’ve got to look forward to is cauliflower cheese on Wednesdays.
But things are about to change, because those almighty duffers Thor, Odin and Frey have restored a thousand-year-old traction engine . . . and the thing actually works. Then there’s Osiris, preparing to set out on a quest that will test his wheelchair to the very limits. Only one thing might save the world. Dentures.