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Tom Holt - Page 1
Tom Holt
BarkingBarking New01 Mar 07
Earth, Air, Fire and CustardEarth, Air, Fire and Custard
In Your DreamsIn Your Dreams
Tall StoriesTall Stories
Fishy WishesFishy Wishes
About the Author
Bibliography



New First British Edition Orbit (2007)
Buy at Amazon.co.uk Barking
Monsters are roaming the streets of London.
Of course, some monsters are scarier than others:
Unicorns? No bother.
Vampires? Big deal.
Werewolves? Ho hum.
Lawyers?
…Aaargh!

Duncan’s boss doesn’t think he’s cut out to be a lawyer. He isn’t a pack animal. He lacks the killer instinct. But when hius best friend from school barges his way back into Duncan’s life, with a full supporting cast of lawyers, ex-wives, zombies and snow-white unicorns, it’s not long before things become distinctly unsettling.
Hairy, even.

Tom Holt's books are:
'Uniquely twisted… cracking gags' Rob Grant, The Guardian
'Dazzling' Time Out
`Wildly imaginative’ New Scientist
`Frothy, fast and funny’ Scotland on Sunday
‘Brilliantly funny’ Mail on Sunday
‘A riotously funny read, told with a cracking and inventive wit and the best similes since Douglas Adams’ SFX
‘When Holt’s on form the world seems a much cheerier place’ SFX


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First British Edition Orbit (2005)
Buy at Amazon.co.uk Earth, Air, Fire and Custard
J. W. Wells seems to be a respectable establishment, but the company now paying Paul Carpenter's salary is in fact a deeply sinister organisation with a mighty peculiar management team.
Paul thought he was getting the hang of it (particularly when he fell head over heels for his strangely alluring colleague Sophie), but death is never far away when you work at J.W.Wells. Unlike the stapler – that’s always going AWOL. Our lovestruck hero is about to discover that custard is definitely in the eye of the beholder. And that it really stings.
Tom Holt’s exceedingly comic fantasies are populated with evil goblins, annoying sprites and people like us. However, it’s not always possible to tell the difference.
The earlier adventures of Paul Carpenter are to be found in The Portable Door and In Your Dreams.


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Paperback - Orbit (2005)
First British Edition Orbit (2004)
Buy at Amazon.co.uk In Your Dreams
Ever been offered a promotion that seems too good to be true? You know - the sort they’d be insane to be offering to someone like you. The kind where you snap their arm off to accept, then wonder why all your long serving colleagues look secretly relieved, as if they’re off some strange and unpleasant hook ...
It’s the kind of trick that deeply sinister companies like H.W. Wells & Co. pull all the time. Especially with employees who are too busy mooning over the office intern to think about what they’re getting into.
And it’s why, right about now, Paul Carpenter is wishing he’d paid much less attention to the gorgeous MeIze, and rather more to a little bit of job description small-print referring to ‘pest’ control ...


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British Pbk Original - Orbit (2004)
Buy at Amazon.co.uk Tall Stories
Two larger than life comic fantasise in one hilarious volume
Expecting Someone Taller

All he did was run over a badger – sad, but hardly catastrophic. But it just wasn’t Malcom fisher’s day. The badger turned out to be none other than Ingolf, last of the Giants. With his dying breath, he reluctantly handed Malcom two Gifts of Power, and made him ruler of the world. Funnily enough, that made a lot of other Earth-dwellers rather unhappy…
Ye Gods!
Being a Hero bothers Jason Derry. It’s easy to get maladjusted when your mum’s a suburban housewife and your dad’s the Supreme Being. It can be a real drag slaying fabulous monsters and retrieving golden fleeces from fire-spitting dragons, and then having to tidy your room before your mum’ll let you watch Star Trek. But it’s not the relentless tedium of imperishable glory that finally brings Jason to the end of his rope; it’s something so funny that it’s got to be taken seriously. Deadly seriously…


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British Pbk Original - Orbit (2004)
Buy at Amazon.co.uk Fishy Wishes
Two suspiciously funny novels from the master of comic writing
Wish You Were Here
Wesley Higgins, a young man from Birmingham, England, had come to Lake Chicopee because he know the legend of the Ghost of Okeewana. All he had to do was immerse himself in the waters of the lake and he would find his heart’s desire. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time…
Djinn Rummy
In an aspirin bottle, nobody can hear you scream.
Outside, however, things are somewhat different. And when Kayaguchiya Integrated Circuits III (Kiss, to his friends), a Force Twelve genie with an attitude, is released after fourteen years of living with two dozen white tablets, there’s bound to be trouble…


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About The Author
Tom Holt was born in London in 1961. At Oxford he studied bar billiards, ancient Greek agriculture and the care and feeding of small, temperamental Japanese motorcycle engines; interests which led him, perhaps inevitably, to qualify as a solicitor and emigrate to Somerset, where he specialised death and taxes for seven years before going straight in 1995. Now a full-time writer, he lives in Chard, Somerset, with his wife, one daughter and the unmistakable scent of blood, wafting on the breeze from local meat-packing plant.

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Bibliography
N.B. dates and publishers in dark red indicate British First Editions. Dates and publishers in black indicate recent reprints.

  • Barking (Orbit, 2007) New Mar 07
  • Earth, Air, Fire and Custard (Orbit, 2005)
  • In Your Dreams (Orbit, 2004) Orbit Pbk Jan 05
  • Tall Stories Short Stories (Orbit Pbk, 2004)
  • Fishy Wishes (Orbit Pbk, 2004)
  • For Two Nights Only (Orbit Pbk, 2004)
  • The Portable Door (Orbit, 2003) Orbit Pbk Feb 04
  • Little People (Orbit, 2002) Orbit Pbk Mar 03
  • Falling Sideways (Orbit, 2002) Orbit Pbk Jun 02
  • The Divine Comedies (Orbit Pbk, 2002)
  • The Second Tom Holt Omnibus (Orbit Pbk, 2002)
  • Nothing But Blue Skies (Orbit, 2001) Orbit Pbk Jan 02
  • Valhalla (Orbit, 2000) Orbit Pbk May 01

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